I wanna tell stories too.

Maybe I've missed the band wagon about blogging but hey I can still jump. I am a fast runner or at least I an endure.



What story can I tell you today?







Let me tell you of this one time I was in WV. The back woods of WV being a missionary for the LDS church. T.P (my comp/name abbreviated) and I went to find this less active family out in the sticks. Driving and driving for a really long time. But I didn't mind because that meant I didn't have to talk to anyone. I could enjoy the most beautiful scenery in the entire world.

This family never came to church even though half of their family made up the local congregation. So we made the decision to drive out there on a whim hoping by some miracle they'd be there.

We pull up to this hideous trailer in a pile of garbage on a hill. There are dead cars and broken tractors everywhere. I am terrified.

Now remember I have only been in WV for about 1 month at this point.

We get there and T.P is like "Well looks like nobody is here. Let's ring the doorbell at least." There was no doorbell.

As we walk up to the makeshift deck off the front door. I step up on the rickety old wooden structure and... Oh my heavens. There's a BOAR on the porch! A freakin' huge black boar with little tusks. He hears us and gets up and snorts and oinks and threatens us with those nasty tusks. T.P and I retreat like little babies.

As we are standing there starring at this door that took us over an hour to get to we are thinking do we let this *blankety blank* pig scare us? I say "no." So Mr T.P, the more experience and tougher and bad A tells me to go first. As I am deciding how to get around this giant mess a rooster is coming at us from the other direction crowing so loudly. Slowly closing in on us. And dogs are barking in the background. More rooster calls, cat meows, and M. Boar snorting.

I remember taking a wheat stalk (or tall weed) and poking him in the nose trying to get him to get off there so I can go up another way. He didn't budge!

After about another hour trying to coax this giant pig off the porch I sneak past him quietly and swiftly to get to the door to knock. I knock. And knock. And knock. There is not a single person in that stupid trailer on the hill!

I was sooo disappointed. I was determined they were hiding. So as we tucked our tails and were leaving I threw a rock at the stupid rooster and my weed stalk at M. Boar.

Yeah I was tuff!

Teaching French? Quoi?!?

So do I have a tale to tell. Last Wednesday and this past Wednesday I volunteered at a local Junior High school and taught the French classes.

WOW! I forgot how young these chillens are. I was doing a presentation on what they can do if they continue taking French and learn to speak it fluently.

So I tried gearing this toward the younger crowd. Trying to think of things they would think was interesting, because what I find interesting isn't what they find interesting. So I was thinking; fashion, food, music, iconic symbols.

So with the music---
I wanted to give them some examples of some French artists. One of my favorite artists is Zazie or ZAZ for short. And there is a really good song she sings called; "Je suis un homme." And it talks about non-exciting things to Jr High kids...but they don't know that. Because little did I know they'd flip out by seeing a woman's figure.
I totally forgot there was this scene where there is a woman on a spinning pedestal and she's nude. but covered by her own hands. And the kids just FLIPPED! They were hootin' and hollerin' Oh My Heavens I almost lost it laughing at them.

Here is that vidéo. Look at it...



Also we listened to an artist called YELLE. And they were comparing her to Lady Ga-Ga. So that's what we called her. And there was one song called "Qui est cette fille?" And well out of the whole song the only word these kids understood was "Sexy." Oh la la are you serious?

I don't think I could teach those kids. I'd either be fired or thrown in jail. I am a very sarcastic person and wouldn't be able to take their crap and disrespect. I would literally boot them out the door.

Oh zut!

Blogs, what the?!?

Who in the world invented these things? There is some stay-at-home mother making bank on the idea of people posting their most inner thoughts, desires, life stories to the world. I say it's weird.

Although perfect example. The only people that read my blog are family members. And it's sad to say that this is the only way they find about my life. And I don't even post the juicy things so they're only getting a superficial taste of my abstract crazy life.

This is not a journal. This is not a place where you share personal information for the entire world to read. There are some things we don't want to know.

So maybe I'll keep mine as a venting stage. A place where I can post my liberal brash opinions about life, religion and politics (the trinity of disaster in a conservative community) and other people's pointless lives.

I am home!

Finally I have returned home to the good ol' USA. I returned almost a week ago already. I got home on Sunday the 11 July at 1:30pm. It was nice to have the passport line cater to the Americans. In Europe all the lines are catered to the EU passports. And their lines are shorter. So it was great to get ahead of all those non-US people...HA!

So here is the conversation I had with the passport control officer upon returning to Salt Lake

Man: What was the purpose of your trip?

Me: Education & travel.

Man: Welcome back.

Now it is more funny if you picture this man showing no expression on his face whatsoever, and speaking monotone. Well then I mimiced him in speaking monotone and no expression.

Then the final customs guy takes my form and asks:

Customs guy: "Do you have all your luggage?"

Me: "Yes"

Customs guy: "do you have any food, animals, dirt?"

Me: "No"

Guy: "OK"

As I am walking away: "Of course I do. I am coming from France what do you think!?"

Denmark was amazing! I had so much fun there. It didn't help that I had my own personal tour guide who made the trip so memorable. We did so much in the few days I was there. It was totally worth the time & money. I really hope to go back some day.

I have a lot to say about this little country probably too much to put on here that may perhaps bore you to death.

But needless to say the Danes are about as proud of their flag and patriotism as we Americans are. The flag is everywhere. It wasn't until recently (the '50s) that every Dane could fly the flag. Up until that time only royalty could.

The royalty play an important role in every Dane's life. They adore their Queen (unlike some other countries). And the royalty are everywhere in everyday life.

The Danes were probably the healthiest, cleanest, best looking Europeans I saw on this trip.

Before I close this blog I have to tell you about the Danish ice cream that is so deliciuos. They eat almost as much (if not more) ice cream than Utahan's do.

So the stuff to the right is called Guf. It is marshmallow cream flavored with strawberry.

So here is what you get on a typical ice cream cone.

• You get the scoops (up to 5. I con'y got 2)
• A ring of "soft ice." Which is just soft serve.
• A huge dollup of the Guf.
• Whipped cream.
• A squirt of jam (Red sugary liquid).
• And a "bun" or a chocolate covered marshmallow cream.

All of this is stacked in a waffel cone and they give you a tiny taste tester spoon to eat it with. But oh my heavens it is delicious and you feel like you are 5 again. Instantaneously! It's a wonderful feeling. I almost could not finish it though. But I pushed through it and survived...2 of them.

Well I have plenty of other stories to tell and many more postings to follow. Just give me call and we can talk.

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Beignet Bliss

Ok here is pastry numer 3. This one was a doosey. It is a beignet with little delicious gifts on top. So I pass this cart every Wednesday on my way to class. It's a part of the Marché aux Fleurs (flower market). I've been looking at these things for a few weeks now and decided to go for it. My housemate got one a few weeks ago with chantilly (whip cream). But the gentleman said it was too hot for chantilly so I got it with confiture framboise (raspberrry jam). It is bascailly a doughnut without a hole in it. It was probably the heaviest pastry I've bought here. But worth it.


So also today marked the start of the Soldes! It is basically where all the magasins (stores, department stores, boutiques) get rid of all the winter stock. There are some pretty good deals, however I am shopping around like usual. I might miss out on some good deals because I am waiting. I did try on a Hugo Boss & Giverny suit this afternoon. Not sure if it's worth the hassel and stress when I don't understand EVERY word they're saying. So I told the guy I would maybe come back tonight. We'll see.

Well tonight we have a group farewell dinner at "Au Lapin Qui Fume" or the bunny who smokes. I am not sure if we'll be eating bunny or other things too? I guess I'll have a story to tell later.

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Pastry #2

So I know this is two posts in one day, but I've got another delicious pastry to share with all y'all.

This one had a long name that I cannot remember. Although it did have the word "chocolate" and "lait."

In my book those are 2 words that go together really well.
I bought this one from my favorite boulangerie here in Tours.

It was delicious and smooth. It had a hqrd chocolate shell with a soft chocolate mousse in the middle. The crust resembled that of a homemade cheesecake. Kind of gritty from the graham cracker.

So far I am 2 for 2 on my quest to try as many pastries as I can this week.

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Personal Mission

Ok. So this week I am on a personal mission to try a different pastry every day this week.

Yesterday I tried this wonderful treat. It was called "Caramel au beurre salé." It tasted like crème brulée.

It wasn't all that great. I don't think this is my "inner pastry." It still was delicious and I am excited to try more yummy treats.




So I do have a funny story to tell you about my dinner on Sunday. So we had turkey legs and rigatoni pasta with spaghetti sauce. It was kind of different. But my French mom asked if I wanted some Dijon mustard with my turkey. And I thought sure I guess I'm up for trying new things. So I stirred up the sauce and put some on my plate and then took a big piece of turkey on my fork. HOLY MOLY! It was like taking a big ball of wasabi and eating it plain. WOW I though that my eyes were going to pop out of my head. They watered so bad and my nose ran, I sweated, and my throat hurt. It was the most odd sensation ever! I don't think I want to do that again. I can't really describe the sensation. It was so intense.

Needless to say I didn't eat much more of that mustard.

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